Let It Be

There are many feelings that I feel today, but I don't feel like baring my soul out to you today. Maybe it's because I am done try to be a middle man.  I am going to take advice from every other person in the world and focus on me. Do what's best for me, and if that doesn't involve you, then it's not my problem.

Anger; sadness; and betrayal only begin to skim the surface of my emotions. This seems to be the week where every little piece of shit just keeps getting piled and piled on top of me and I'm drowning in it.  I no longer want to feel anything. I wish I could feel numb, but it isn't humanely possible.

Maybe it's time I looked back at who I was a year ago, and try to remember what made me who I am today.  And it is good family, and friends.  I miss my family.  And I miss my friends, old and new. But mostly I am glad for the best friends that I have that I can turn to and trust that they have my back in any situation.  The ones who I can text and will be there in a heart beat, or know just what to say to make me smile on even my worst days.  And I know that there will be happy moments and there will be sad moments.  It's just life.  But realize that even though I am not speaking to you for a while, that I am just sad.  I'll get over it.  I just need to take a step back and Let It Be.

I got this tattoo two August's ago for many different reasons.  However I have learned over time that it is almost like letting your conscious be your guide.  There are times when I wish to give up, throw it all away, or times when I feel overwhelmed to the point where I can't breath.  And I'll look down and just see let it be. I have also learned that there are many things that cannot be controlled in life, and some things you just need to go with the flow.

To end this blog, there is song that I listen to when just seeing the words isn't enough: